The cold is freezing my nose

Today was the first REALLY cold day of winter. Which is weird. It’s so late. I walked home from the train but REALLY didn’t want to walk home from the train. It was cold. And it felt far colder than the 18 that weatherunderground described. It’s truly winter though, because the alley is an ice rink and I have to look down when I walk. Which is annoying.

Random things of late (with lots of parentheses) to tide my grandparents over until I can write something real:

1. the toddlers above me keep staying up past 10 and are currently jumping over my head. I keep grumbling “stop jumping”. In the past, at more appropriate times, I have just spontaneously yelled stop! really loud. But, it’s not very effective, and they don’t listen. I know their dad and he thought I was a doctor. He was surprised that I wasn’t!

2. I moved offices at work and no longer feel like I’m trapped all day. I like it. I realized that I actually have room to lay on the floor without laying under my desk. I have never laid under my desk, but I have considered it. But, now, naptime is an option. (as if I’d really do that). Or stretching my back by laying down. Anyway, today, I stood up and walked away from my computer and I was still in the same room as my computer! That doesn’t happen downtown. It was amazing. I also have been experiencing complicated moving feelings. Those feelings of upheaval that you experience irrationally. Today, though, I was fine and they were over.

3. I keep looking at dog adoption websites even though I can’t adopt a dog.

4. Soon, Limmud will be over. In 1 month! Then I will need to find other things to occupy my time until I can plant my community garden plot. I’m mulling it over and trying to find things to do. But, I’m also really quite excited about the opportunity to not have meetings nearly every night of the week. (not to worry! I have signed on for next year and will still have some meetings).

5. I re-signed my lease. I am contracted to stay in the same apartment through April 2013. I hope that I can make it without getting itchy feet! (just kidding, I kind of like the idea of staying in the same place, and I like this apartment).

6. I keep mentally making lists of things that I’d like to have in 10 years. And I keep getting stuck on things like “in unit laundry” and “a new car” and “educational loans that are paid down” and “central air”. Apparently it’s about the little big things and not the big plans. That’s ok for now, I guess.

P.S. All my hard work can be found on the conference program!

Slow Cooker Brisket: Childhood memories

I decided to cut corners in my Saturday morning project. Literally. I took the frozen 1.5 lb brisket (ie. it was just a little slab of meat), put it on the cutting board, and made the mistake of choosing a big serrated knife to cut off the fat. I’ve never made brisket before but I like trying new things, and the slow cooker makes life easy. Of course, the knife (too large) slipped and sliced my finger. And there was blood, lots of blood. It was deep cut (but I didn’t need stitches according to my friend the nurse). So I tightly wrapped two band aids around it and held it up high above my heart.

I held it up and remembered doing this as a child. When I decided that I should try the project my girl scout day camp counselors discussed: making earrings out of acorns. My sister and Lizzy, our friend,and I gathered in the kitchen. And I got out the grown up scissors. Of course, I slipped and cut my finger badly. Allison had to go down to the basement to get my dad twice before he came up. He didn’t understand my sister when she told him I was “dripping”. I fainted and came to in the bathroom, on the floor, with a pillow under my head. I tend to faint. We had a planned excursion to the train museum later that day. And I remember walking around holding the same left pointer finger up above my heart, wrapped in gauze, wondering at the throbbing feeling.

So here I am, by myself in my apartment, because I live alone. Talking myself through not fainting. I did pretty well the first time. I even tweeted about it. Saying how I didn’t faint. And then, I noticed that the tip of my finger was blue. Whoops, I had the band aids too tight. After I re-did my band aids, the fainting symptoms came back with a vengeance. I grabbed an ice pack and sat in my chair.

Sitting there, I remembered sitting in the wheel chair after getting hit in the head with a baseball bat (I was in the way) being coached by the nurse on how not to faint. She told me that you have to remember to keep breathing. The ice pack kept me in touch with reality, but it was pretty shaky there for a while. I don’t know why, but blood just does me in. I cannot handle it. It’s my little panic button. I spent a long time sitting in the chair with the ice pack. When I calmed down, I drank my coffee. Eventually I took a shower. But before that, I used a steak knife and cut the fat off the brisket and got it into the slow cooker. When it came out five hours later, it was delicious.

Today in Eighth Grade

What the experts say about the teacher’s energy affecting the classroom is so true, as evidenced today.

It all began when I walked down the hall to the computer, passing the admin(she’s amazing by the way). She said “hello, how are you?” I said “I’m good, how are you? She said “perfect” and I said “I’m so glad to hear that” and kept walking. She yelled after me: “I’m lying” and I just looked back and said “I know” (she’s somewhat disgruntled.)

On my way back to the classroom I ran into J, one of the 7th grade teachers. I stopped and said “oh, are we going to do the joint Chanukah party this year?” He was all for it. I mentioned the 18th as the day for the party. He told me that there was no class. I didn’t believe him. He went back to check. We met in the hall again. And said that it was true.

Super co-teacher and I were flabbergasted! We spent over an hour at a hipster cafe in Logan Square (seriously full of artists and students and the artists were actually painting. How strange (just kidding)) planning our lessons for the end of December and January. We were going to do this great lesson about Jewish humor and the convergence between eastern religions and Judaism which would be all wrapped up in the denomination called “secular Judaism”. Sadly, we have to skip right to Reconstructionism (which is an activity that we all love) and then the Chanukah party. So we were in hysterics, laughing at ourselves when our very late students walked in.

Usually, we have about 15, but we had 9. And the kids were very disturbed by our small class, which was a large small class, but they were upset with the absent kids. We were still weirded out, so we explained why we were laughing.

We began class with a “what do you know, what don’t you know about Reform Judaism activity”. When I turned around to get the paper I noticed that our oversized bag of starbursts and skittles had disappeared. Instead, there were about 9 pieces of candy sitting in our cell phone tub. We had been robbed! I was so weirded out by the odd gloomy day and the loss of a lesson that I wanted to run right over to the admin’s office and announce the theft. Thankfully, Super co-teacher advised me to wait. He looked surprised at my eagerness to disrupt class. I left it until the end.

And then the kids started to be crazy. We had more paper arts, including paper airplanes and hopping frogs, than we’ve had this year. We had some crazy names during our debate between the “traditional Jews” the “reformers” and the “modern-day reform” that included Rabbi Halakha Kashrut. (um what?). One guy wouldn’t let up on the football private joke that nobody understood except for him and one other student. One incredibly smart well-behaved student had his own version of misbehavior that lasted the 2 hours, surprisingly (and also quite benign).

And it was our fault for beginning the class in hysterics. And because I decided wrongs needed to be righted immediately (although I was stopped). It was a day full of quotable quotes and hysterical moments. Maybe it was a perfect December day?

Life Keeps Swirling and then I turn 30

Life has been busy. I went to a conference in D.C. a couple of weeks ago and someday soon, I’ll write about it. I’ve gotten out to some good programs with work in the past week. It always feels best when I get to experience things and feel less locked into the little room (my office and my head).

But, not the topic of this post. The topic is: I am turning 30 in a little over a month! So many people I know make ultimatums about turning 30. They make lists of things to do before they turn 30. It’s kind of like they think that life ends or something once you hit the next decade. I decided to do the opposite. I’m going to make a list of all the things that I know that my 20-year old self would have put on a list for turning 30 and see how many I’ve accomplished.In no particular order.

My Turning 30 Bucket List from my 20-year old perspective

• Study writing at The Salt Institute: CHECK
• Try to be a writer: CHECK
• Be a barista at a coffee shop: CHECK
• Go traveling in Europe: CHECK
• Work at a Jewish Social Justice organization: CHECK
• Be in a protest: CHECK
• publish writing: CHECK
• live in Maine: CHECK
• go to graduate school: CHECK
• live in Chicago near my relatives: CHECK
• get a dog: Nope, need time and $$
• own a house: Nope, see above
• teach religious school: CHECK (odd I know, but lay leadership has always been important to me)
• study in Israel: CHECK
• hike up a mountain: CHECK  (small one, New Hampshire)
• Keep camping in tents: CHECK (except this summer, sniff)
• be an editor at a magazine: well, not one of my aspirations anymore
• adopt children: see time and money comment (and I really like sleeping)
• work as a nanny (don’t ask): CHECK

My 30-year-old accomplishments and realizations that I wouldn’t have expected at 20

• Getting sick, getting better
• I worked a drive-through window and was known for being fun and speedy
• I can cook anything, and bake anything.
• My gluten-free baking can be gobbled up just like my old glutinous baking used to be
• I know my way around Chicago so well that I never get lost. (the suburbs are another matter)
• I teach middle school students on Sundays.
• I can talk about TV shows (popular ones)
• I can go to an event and not feel socially awkward when I don’t know anyone.
• I drink coffee
• I have a great relationship with my aunt (we had a rocky adolescence)
• I’m still heavily involved in Jewish things
• I went to Divinity School, studied Jewish stuff, Christian stuff, and a little bit of Muslim politics
• I didn’t really like graduate school
• I went to University of Chicago (surprise!)
• I couldn’t learn Hebrew (well enough)
• I seriously considered Rabbinical School
• I don’t eat dairy or gluten. I still eat chocolate.

I think I’ve done pretty well. I’ve never wanted to become a runner and do a race (lots of people put those things in their bucket list). I would love to travel more, but I have low expectations. I’m an explorer in other ways–books, neighborhoods, the woods. Someone at work today told me that I was “one cool girl.” If I’m cool to at least 1 person in their 40s, I’m pretty sure I’ve made it to nearly 30 in better shape than I expected. I like my job and my co-workers, I like my apartment (minus the crazy stomping toddler feet that incessantly pound above my head in the evenings), I like my volunteer work. I still like teaching 8th grade Sunday School. I appreciate my connections to my family here in the Chicago area. I love my trips home. My smithies and other friends that live far away are still just as important as they were when I was 20. Life is busy. It keeps me interested, and that is good. I still don’t know why 30 is so significant though…

November, wow.

I can’t quite believe it’s November. It’s so strange, the slow descent into fall. It’s been several years where I’ve been in a typical full-time job in the fall, where you really notice the early darkness. I love fall, but I’m mourning the loss of light like crazy. I love looking out my big living room window in the morning when the sun is shining and seeing the changing leaves. Although the two trees right outside my window, the non-evergreens, have already lost all of their leaves. When it rains, it’s like an impressionist painting. I recently noticed that Chicago’s “peak” in the fall is much later than Wisconsin. Maybe it’s the pollution bubble or something. Nevertheless, I’m still enjoying seeing all the changing leaves during the daytime, on weekends. Or when I have to drive between offices for work.