Julie & Julia made me think about passion

I went with my sister to see Julie & Julia tonight. And it was a wonderful movie: funny, touching, and smart. I loved the fact that both women are graduates of Pioneer Valley colleges. Julia Child, of course, was a Smithie. And Juliae Powell went to Amherst. Beyond that, though, the movie was inspiring. I am happy to have been able to meet Julia Child in 2002 at Smith. She fell asleep in my French class, but my friends and I attended a tea where she was the honored guest and were able to speak to her.

It did not inspire me to blog however, or to try to increase my very small readership. I understand how that could be construed, but I am actually talking about something different: developing a passion. I don’t have a specific passion. I’ve always had several. If you know me in person, you know that if I did or thought or studied about just 1 thing for a period of time, I will end up bored. I need the multi-brain stimulation or else. It’s not that I don’t develop enthusiasms, but it’s not the same.  It was so fun, though, to watch these two women develop their passions side by side.  And they talked about them. All the time. I met someone like that this summer. Someone who incorporated their graduate study into their lives to such a degree that it was ALL they talked about. Or referenced rather. The point of reference for nearly all life encounters and experiences ended up being this subject of study. Which, unfortunately, left us less privileged in the dark. It was fascinating to watch that passion, even when it was completely out of place in the social context we were in. But to see someone with that drive, like the Julie/as. Wow. It’s intense, impressive too.

I think it’s exciting that people can develop these nearly all-consuming interests. I always wished I had one. When I’ve tried to write my interests down, it ends up being a list, which is obvious on my facebook “info”. I have lots of “interests” and “activities”. I don’t have a problem being myself, but my life is definitely more about trial and error instead of feeling certain of a direction (although I have a good idea of where I will not be). I also know that not everyone as a “calling” or “passion” that leads their life work in a specific direction. Even so, I’m just hoping that even if my life path meanders and I never find an all consuming sort of passion, I’ll eventually end up somewhere good.

it’s that oppressive sun

I’ve been back almost a week. I’ve mostly recovered from jet lag, although I’m so exhausted by 9ish at night that I haven’t even finished the four books I got on Monday at the library (this is highly unusual for me). The weather here at home has been cool (we aren’t even hitting 70 degrees today!) and wet. The clouds have been crazy. And I realized that I really love them. No wonder I felt like the sun was oppressive in Israel. There were hardly any clouds and I missed them. Today, they are skating across the sky in giant, stormy clumps. Everything is consistently green. It looks like Wisconsin is going to miss the August grass burnout this year. Which is aesthetically pleasing. I worry, of course, when I read that the ocean is so much warmer this year EVERYWHERE and how that is affecting everything. But here in the middle, we’re abnormally cool.

It’s been hard to get on the road to productivity. Partly because my brain is tired and really just needed to rest. Partly because I get stuck in vacation malaise where I really just enjoy cuddling/playing with the puppy, taking him on walks, and hanging out around the house. Luckily, the action will be picking up again soon.

This weekend there should be some boating with the parents. And next Thursday, my sister and I will be heading up North to go camping (please, please, please don’t rain everday!). We’re planning on a waterfall hunting day trip to UP Michigan. We’ll actually end up near Lake Superior. Our campground is just outside Minoqua, WI, which is the town we’ve been vacationing near for our entire lives. We love that area of North Central, WI. And the National Forest we’re staying in is just great, too. Besides waterfall hunting, we may go kayaking or canoeing. We’ll definitely go swimming and hiking.

After we return, there’s just one short week until Labor Day weekend. We’ll have grandparents visit (Hi grandma!) and then we’ll all be heading to Chicago for a Bar Mitzvah. I’ll be staying on in Chicago afterwards, and at the end of the week, I’ll move into my apartment (yay!). Religious school starts that Sunday. Sadly, summer is nearly over. But, University of Chicago will not begin the year until September 29.

Back in Madison

I have safely arrived in Madison. I had a relatively horrible flight with a baby that cried nonstop for over four hours and a seatmate that had boundary issues (as in crossing boundaries) who liked to share my foot room and elbowed me countless times. But I survived and emerged unslept and jetlagged. I have been busy since I arrived yesterday: sleeping and getting all sorts of extra puppy cuddles in. Riley napped with me in the afternoon.

And last night, in an effort to combat jet lag and go to bed at a “normal” time, my sister and I went out for Mexican food (yum!) and to Madison Pride (now called something like Capitol Pridefest) to watch the God-dess and She show. Which was fabulous. Today we return, if the weather cooperates, for the parade and then some drag queen shows.

It’s good to be home.

Leaving Israel: a post that meanders

Pardes has ended. Tomorrow, Friday, at midnight, I will fly back to the U.S. I wanted to write a quick post, that will hopefully be bookended on one side with a more reflective post when I have the time and space to reflect.

As many of you know, Israel is not a place I longed to visit. I came here, because of Pardes, somewhat reluctantly. Knowing that I would hate the weather (I’m a northerner through and through). Knowing that the people, the Israelis, would have personalities that would grate against me and offend and possibly even scare me with their aggression. I had no particular sentimental passion about the idea of the “Jewish homeland”, in fact, after the paper I wrote last school year, any seed of Zionist ideology still lurking in my brain was erased by disturbed disgust. (I believe that Israel should exist as a Jewish state, I just don’t identify with Zionism).

When I got here it was hot. The people were aggressive. The apartment I am living in was in a state of filth. And I was tired, still being affected by my newly diagnosed condition (and jet lagged). After six weeks, I’m beginning to see how I will tolerate living here for a year if things (yet unveiled to all) go according the the plan. The assets of a strong Anglo community are great. The body adjusts to the heat (although just barely!). The legs adjust to the hills–a good thing.The eyes adjust to seeing the soldiers with guns and the frum (orthodox) with their long sleeves and various forms of dress.

Pardes itself was just wonderful. I had occasionally spouts of uncomfortable feeling about the orthodox bent that comes with attending a halachically observant institution. But, you find your place. You discover a chevruta (study partner) in your classes that will meld or challenge your belief systems. It’s about discovery and flexibility. I am more aware in ways I think I don’t even understand now. I have an awareness of halakha, of the viewpoint of the Orthodox. And of the challenges of Jews being Jews everywhere in the world because of the great diversity of experience, especially in how that translates to explanation and education of the outside world. I was profoundly affected by learning in a pluralistic community where I felt free to grow and learn without self-consciousness. Sometimes, I felt awkward or weird or guilty about deciding not to daven (pray) in the egalitarian minyan, even though it is not my regular tradition and I feel better having more unstructured time. There were occasions when I felt strange not keeping Shabbat or eating in a non-kosher restaurant, even though I don’t regularly keep shabbat or kosher. So, the pressure was there.

I’m sitting here in my room in the German Colony, Jerusalem both excited to return to Madison, where the Pride fest will be attended on Saturday night and Sunday, where I will not have invitations to Shabbat lunch or seudat shlishi (3rd meal), and curious as to what it will mean to not be in a place where it is assumed that of course everyone will be walking to shul or eating a shabbas meal or lunch or seuda shlishi. Where after Shabbat ends on Saturday night, the streets come alive with families, singles, teens, and seniors. Where you still see small children eating ice cream outside Aldo at midnight. I wonder what that will feel like. Will it feel normal? will there be a feeling of loss?

The most exciting/interesting/lovely aspect of my Jerusalem experience was the people. I met such incredible people. And what I liked most was the lack of pressure. We’d eat dinner or hang out. But, we were all temporary. We all say good bye and if we see each other again, it will be with pleasure. There was such an interesting crowd. I was happy to be a part of them for 6 weeks. And I’m excited to maintain my Chicago friendships, which will hopefully translate into Shabbat dinners and shul hopping around the city.

having it both ways

One of the great things about being here at Pardes in Jerusalem is the insta-community you enter. Much like summer camp, but less intense. We’re in classes a lot, which limits the during-the-day friendship sort of interaction to our 2 breaks–morning and lunch. Instead it’s after school and Shabbat. Shabbat can be intensely busy and social. Some shabbats, I have been to dinner, lunch, and seudat shlishit (third meal, which is usually cold salads). After all that walking (no busses in Jerusalem on Shabbat) and socializing I’m ready for the weekend. But school starts again on Sunday. So, no hypothetical “weekend”. The most weekend you get is on Friday. Friday, though, tends to be a day of cleaning, shopping, and cooking–no matter if you are hosting or providing potluck dishes.

Often, I’ve been able to strike a balance between the social carnival and the quiet independence of being “alone”. Alone is quotes because I’m living with 2 other people in a bedroom the size of my college dormroom. But, I’ve still felt busy and surrounded with people.

This Friday-Saturday has been a perfect combination of alone time and social time. Yesterday, Friday, I ran a few quick errands in the morning before packing a daypack and heading to the Central Bus station. There, I caught a bus to Tel Aviv. I haven’t traveled alone in Israel. And I didn’t have a city map, but I did have a guide book with bus routes penciled in by yours truly.

My destination was the Tel Aviv Art Museum. I first visited this art museum for the first time when I was 13, in Israel on a trip with my grandparents. It was, as far as I remember, the first time I visited an art museum and most certainly, the first time I had seen modern art in a museum. I was wowed. And excited to find art that I liked. As most of you know, this did not cause me to suddenly love art–do art history in college or take up art as a hobby. But, I developed a healthy appreciation that is manifested in occasional art museum visits.

Once again, I truly enjoyed my visit to the museum. Of course, now, I’ve been to several museums in the U S and Europe. However, I felt different about my visit to the TA museum. After suffering through numerous exhibits of crucifixes and Christ iconography and symbolism it was refreshing to leave that behind. The exhibits I saw were all different and interesting, and even historic. I saw an exhibit of art created by Eli Shamir. The series of paintings that I saw were portraits and self portraits of Shamir’s neighbors and family in a small Israeli village. Shamir returned to the village to live after a life away. It was all very beautiful and fascinating. I especially liked when Shamir would create self-portraits of him painting portraits.

My other favorite exhibit was called “Fragmented Mirror: Exhibition of Jewish Artists, Berlin, 1907.” This was a collection of works shown in 1907 in Berlin. My favorite piece was not a work of art but a letter, where someone wrote something to this effect “I am not sure that art created by Jews is Jewish art but I am willing to give you permission to exhibit wherever you wish.” This letter cuts to the crux of a universal problem. What makes something Jewish and what does that mean?  Someone else wrote (on the wall) that the Jewish nose was the expression of emotion in Jewish art in that time. I found that interesting to think about, especially since shortly thereafter (well within the next 40 years) the Jewish nose became a source of negative identity and critical humor.

After my museum visit I had a little trouble figuring out how to get to my next destination. I needed a map. Eventually, though I found the right bus that would take me to Nachalot Benjamin. Nachalot Benjamin is a craft festival that is put on every Tuesday and Friday. It was very very warm there (Tel Aviv is hotter and more humid than Jerusalem). But, it was also fun to walk around a look at what the artists were creating. After a brief visit to the booths (I am not much of a consumer) I found a bus back to the station and took another bus back to Jerusalem. I felt so very independent, making my way around a city without understanding all the street signs (and the bus drivers don’t speak english as well as the ones in Jerusalem). It was also nice to travel without someone else’s complaints, anxieties, and demands. With someone else around, I wouldn’t have stood for 10 minutes examining a bus route map before taking action. But instead, I did, and eventually decided to try the other side of the street. I also couldn’t have made it through the museum without feeling like I was waiting for someone or needing to occasionally explain my actions. It was great!

I arrived home with a few hours to spare before Shabbat. I was glad to have some time to relax and cut the fruit I was contributing to the dinner I planned on attending. And off I went. I left unfolded laundry on my bed figuring that I’d be back at a reasonable hour (in the summer, Shabbat dinners don’t usually begin until after 8). However, after an evening of really interesting and fun conversation, I had one of my latest nights yet: after 2AM. But the conversation was great. I enjoyed the company. In short, I relished the community after a day of independent travel.

It’s already the middle of the end

Time has flown during August session. Partly because I’ve been slightly lazy/remiss about posting, but also because as August session began I started to count down to my flight home. I will be on a flight home in a little over a week. And I’m ready. I hope that I’ll still be ready in a week.

What have I been up to? A week ago Sunday, I went to the Old City and ended up at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. It was night-time and I felt that the big church was a litle spooky. However it was an interesting little side trip. We also watched the sun set from the rooftobs over the Old City. Pics below:

I have also done the usual celebrating of Shabbat by walking to various meals…and going to services. Classes are going well this session. I’m only taking 2. I dropped the 2-day-a-week afternoon class in favor of some time “off”. I also dropped ulpan and am self-teaching myself Hebrew from the ulpan book. I’m moving much more quickly. I do need to put my vocab words on flash cards though.

I’m also looking forward, in order to prepare of the school year. I believe that I have secured September work/study employment, which is good. And I have a housing assignment, although the timing is not in my favor (a little later than needed).  I have done preliminary choosing of my courses, as well. Most importantly, I am mentally preparing for a really rough school year. After last year, I at least know what to expect. But with future, post Chicago planning needing to be done, there will be even more work than the year before.

Before I leave Israel I hope to visit Tel Aviv, possibly participate in a walking tour of East Jerusalem, and see a little more of the “touristy” part of the city. We’ll see.