This weekend I finished Landing by Emma Donoghue.
I’m a huge Emma Donoghue fan. Stirfry is one of my all time favorite reads. I brought it to Geneva with me (one of the few new books) and read it repeatedly over the 11 months I was there. She writes tender, funny, well-developed stories.
Landing surprised me. Not because of it’s content, but because I felt like I was reading something that could have happened to me. Of course, the premise was a little different. In Landing, Sile (pronounced like Sheila) and Jude meet each other on a flight to England. Jude was a passenger, Sile a flight attendant. They meet under unfortunate circumstances (Jude was seated next to a man that ultimately dies during the flight). They exchange addresses, drink coffee and go their separate ways. 6 weeks later, both decide to contact the other, thus begins a romance that struggles across continents and ultimately ends happily ever after (fiction, right?).
Sile is an energetic, warm, independent, outgoing individual. Jude is quieter, stubborn, and thoughtful.
Recently, I met someone that both intrigued/attracted and repelled me. And, I think she liked/was attracted to me.
She was so different than me that I couldn’t imagine why–sophisticated, outgoing, brash, tall and striking. But, also funny, creative, independent, and strong. Her brilliance amazed me. When I met her, I was in a state of transition panic manifested as emotional distance and anxiety. I pushed her away in fear and because I didn’t want to become close to someone just to have to say goodbye (she lives thousands of miles away). In fact, I was mean in a way that isn’t typical of me. Even though I pushed her away, every time I turned around, she was there. And, crazily enough, it seemed like she understood me. As the end of our trip approached, I began to realize what a jerk I had been. I felt guilty and began to acknowledge (in my head) that I liked her. I promised that we’d keep in touch. She had a “gizmo” like Sile (blackberry/treo) that she used EVERYWHERE.
I wrote her after a while. And we wrote back and forth for several months until it petered out this summer, I have yet to resurrect it. When I wrote to her, I knew she was busy, so I’d try to keep it short. And, I would relish the responses I received. They made my week, and always made me smile. As we corresponded, I realized how much I valued those qualities that made her personality so unique and that those were the qualities (the positives) that I wanted in a future sig. other. I spaced the emails out. She had a life. I have a transitional life. I didn’t want them to intersect. I guess I wasn’t ready to take that risk.
Sile and Jude began emailing, and eventually were emailing several times a day. They did not have the same restraint. I know that Landing is a love story of modern times, when it’s easy to imagine jetting across the continents to see a loved one. I’m glad that Sile and Jude’s story ended in happiness after the risks taken and investments made. Someday, I hope that I will be rooted enough to take emotional risks and make investments in relationships, and that one, too, will have a fairy tail ending.
