Conscious Consumer? No. Guilty Consumer? Yes.

I went home to Madison this weekend. Of course, I returned to Wisconsin to take in the clean, cold air and the gorgeous trees. And visit my family.  But, it was for another reason too. The sales tax in Illinois is 10.25%. For a grad student, that is a pricey addition to any shopping expedition. I needed some more cold-weather wear.I spent a great deal of the weekend running errands.

I am one of those earth loving, socially conscious (some would say kind of lefty) liberals. I recycle as much as possible (although I admit to occasionally taking the easy way out if the trash can is closest) and aspire to having a backyard or larger apartment which would allow for easy composting (for those not in the know, you can compost with worms indoors!). However, when it comes to my clothes and some of my household products, I just can’t afford to be that conscious. My parents take me to Sam’s Club where I can buy 6 + months worth of kleenex and toilet paper (I go through a LOT of kleenex) in one easy go. I get the regular brand-name stuff. And it’s worth it, even if it isn’t the most ecologically friendly. Never fear, I always feel a pinch of guilt, anyway. It’s just superseded by the excellent prices and the samples that I nosh on over in the food aisles.

Most of my socially/earth conscious friends shop at thrift stores. I don’t. I donate my used clothes to thrift stores, but I am not a thrifter. I’m also not really a shopper. I don’t value the hunt. I wear mostly basics (t-shirts, sweaters, and jeans) and like to be in and out of the mall as quickly as possible. I think that if you are a avid thrift-store shopper, you must value the hunt. You also must value a little more chaos than I have tolerance for. I tend to go into the local mall, enter the same section that I have visited multiple times of one department store (or another), wander, quickly try on, and buy. I don’t like rifling through clothes. I appreciate a good sale (I am a poor grad student after all) but I do not feel the adrenaline that comes from finding an amazing bargain of $0.50 pair of pants. I respect the thrift store people, I really do. And I respect those that can afford to buy all sweat-shop free, organic clothes as well. I aspire to be you. I do.

My guiltiest secret: Living in Hyde Park, I often feel closed-in by the university and the strange culture that surrounds it–I don’t really understand or feel affinity for the culture here. When things get crazy, claustrophobic, or I have a paper looming, I tend to take a vacation…to the South Loop. There, I can wander the aisles freely. Most often I find myself at Whole Foods where I can stock my pantry with dairy replacements and see a different side of Chicago. The people watching is great! and the food is pretty good to (regardless of politics).

Crisply Fall

Today was one of those perfectly fall days–when the air has a bit of a chill and the sky is blue. I biked onto campus and it felt perfect. (It was particularly perfect since I didn’t have a class to go to…) I walked into the new “college commons” which, I must mention, is an awesome new quiet study area that has huge gothic-style windows. I like studying with natural light–the library and the Div School study room are lacking in that regard. The whole campus is gothic style, but we don’t usually have the ability to enjoy the beauty in a non-class setting. With perfect blue sky, the Gothic buildings don’t look so academically pretentious and ominous. They look pretty and ivy-covered stone. The sun stayed out and in the late afternoon, people even laid in the grass, enjoying the combination of sunny skies and chilly air. I love fall. Although I don’t particularly love change, the transition between summer and winter is my favorite. I like putting on long sleeves, my fleece (I, ahem, kind of live in my fleece) and winter hats. And I enjoy the ability to still stay outside and sit still or bike and be comfortable, temperature-wise. And there’s the promise of drama–of crazy winds and rain and then snow storms. Who doesn’t like a bit of drama?

Back in Chicago

I’m here in Hyde Park again. The weather is beautiful, perfect, actually.  My apartment is still in utter chaos. I’m putting it together, but it’s not that fun. I am looking forward to the place looking settled. The apartment itself is fine, it’s the mirror of my old one, which is slightly disorienting. I peeked in on the old place before moving in and the renovation is gorgeous. Somebody is going to be very lucky living there. I’m excited about living on the sunny side of the building and growing some kitchen herbs in my window. I’m thinking basil and maybe some mint, too.

I spent the weekend in Logan Square dog sitting. It was a relaxing transition back to Chicago, since that apartment has been homebase consistently since Smith graduation in ‘04. The strange thing about being back here is that although it feels so normal (I’m sitting in the Regenstein Library right now), in a way I don’t even remember this life. Last year was so chaotic and filled with illness and fatigue, not to mention the massive transition back into academia that it feels blurry.  I’m looking forward to truly living this year in a way that didn’t happen last year–with awareness and energy.

it’s that oppressive sun

I’ve been back almost a week. I’ve mostly recovered from jet lag, although I’m so exhausted by 9ish at night that I haven’t even finished the four books I got on Monday at the library (this is highly unusual for me). The weather here at home has been cool (we aren’t even hitting 70 degrees today!) and wet. The clouds have been crazy. And I realized that I really love them. No wonder I felt like the sun was oppressive in Israel. There were hardly any clouds and I missed them. Today, they are skating across the sky in giant, stormy clumps. Everything is consistently green. It looks like Wisconsin is going to miss the August grass burnout this year. Which is aesthetically pleasing. I worry, of course, when I read that the ocean is so much warmer this year EVERYWHERE and how that is affecting everything. But here in the middle, we’re abnormally cool.

It’s been hard to get on the road to productivity. Partly because my brain is tired and really just needed to rest. Partly because I get stuck in vacation malaise where I really just enjoy cuddling/playing with the puppy, taking him on walks, and hanging out around the house. Luckily, the action will be picking up again soon.

This weekend there should be some boating with the parents. And next Thursday, my sister and I will be heading up North to go camping (please, please, please don’t rain everday!). We’re planning on a waterfall hunting day trip to UP Michigan. We’ll actually end up near Lake Superior. Our campground is just outside Minoqua, WI, which is the town we’ve been vacationing near for our entire lives. We love that area of North Central, WI. And the National Forest we’re staying in is just great, too. Besides waterfall hunting, we may go kayaking or canoeing. We’ll definitely go swimming and hiking.

After we return, there’s just one short week until Labor Day weekend. We’ll have grandparents visit (Hi grandma!) and then we’ll all be heading to Chicago for a Bar Mitzvah. I’ll be staying on in Chicago afterwards, and at the end of the week, I’ll move into my apartment (yay!). Religious school starts that Sunday. Sadly, summer is nearly over. But, University of Chicago will not begin the year until September 29.

It’s already the middle of the end

Time has flown during August session. Partly because I’ve been slightly lazy/remiss about posting, but also because as August session began I started to count down to my flight home. I will be on a flight home in a little over a week. And I’m ready. I hope that I’ll still be ready in a week.

What have I been up to? A week ago Sunday, I went to the Old City and ended up at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. It was night-time and I felt that the big church was a litle spooky. However it was an interesting little side trip. We also watched the sun set from the rooftobs over the Old City. Pics below:

I have also done the usual celebrating of Shabbat by walking to various meals…and going to services. Classes are going well this session. I’m only taking 2. I dropped the 2-day-a-week afternoon class in favor of some time “off”. I also dropped ulpan and am self-teaching myself Hebrew from the ulpan book. I’m moving much more quickly. I do need to put my vocab words on flash cards though.

I’m also looking forward, in order to prepare of the school year. I believe that I have secured September work/study employment, which is good. And I have a housing assignment, although the timing is not in my favor (a little later than needed).  I have done preliminary choosing of my courses, as well. Most importantly, I am mentally preparing for a really rough school year. After last year, I at least know what to expect. But with future, post Chicago planning needing to be done, there will be even more work than the year before.

Before I leave Israel I hope to visit Tel Aviv, possibly participate in a walking tour of East Jerusalem, and see a little more of the “touristy” part of the city. We’ll see.

Moving Tales Part I

As has been mentioned previously, I was kicked out of my apartment, owned by U of C housing, because they wanted to ADA renovations in my tower and 1 or 2 others in the building. Across their buildings, there will be 40 more ADA accessible apartments overall. My friends speculate that U of C was found out regarding their lack of accomodations, because renovations have been occurring campus-wide. This move-out date was last Sunday, which was incredibly inconvenient. I still am not done with papers and had to suspend the process to move. It was incredibly stressful. When I moved nto my apartment initially, I had planned on staying for 2 years. It was perfect for me. I loved it. Below is a narration of the highlights of my moving experience.

Part I

I arranged for my friend Sarah, who works as a night nurse, to come over on Friday to help pack my kitchen. I planned on taking a break from writing/paper prep. Sarah arrived without trouble, and we walked over to the Nile for lunch. On our way over, we encountered a postal carrier. She greeted us with a hearty good morning (it was afternoon) and we responded in kind. And then she began asking us how we were. We responded affirmatively. Then, she asked if we would mind pushing her mail cart down to the next alley, the one with the bushes. An odd request, but I couldn’t refuse. I pushed the mail cart, with some mail still in it, to the alley and we went on our merry way. I do realize that this was illegal, but we didn’t ask for the, ahem, experience.

While at the Nile, where we ran into our friend E (hi E!) and her family (including her graduating from undergrad brother), I received a phone call. The caller was the nurse practioner I has seen for my yearly check-up 3ish weeks before. She asked if it was a good time, I decided it was ok because I had packing to do. And so, I discovered during that phone call that my thyroid levels were irregular. She wanted me to see someone ASAP. I asked if it could wait until after my trip to Israel, but she said no and sent my labs to Madison. I was not concerned, however while Sarah (thank you!) put together boxes and helped me pack my kitchen up I also spent a good deal of time on the phone trying to find a doctor within my PPO that would see me, even if I wasn’t there regular patient. Luckily it turned out alright, and the kind receptionist and nurses at a particular clinic in Madison were able to find me an opentime slot.

To be continued, please see Part II

First Year of Grad School Redux

I’m in the throes of Week 11: finals week. One paper is turned in, another in the works. I will still be working on a paper when I go home. That’s just the way it is, even if I pride myself on getting things done. Some things just take longer to be done than others–and it’s usually professor-sanctioned.

This post is a sort of evaluation of this year. I will also write a post about what I’ve learned this year. But that will come later.

This experience has been one of the most difficult of my life. One of the hardest parts of the experience is always feeling not-smart, and definitely lesser than classmates (especially the phd students). I haven’t felt the pure, unadulterated joy of success yet.  Instead, it’s this grinding process of “working hard” in order to get to the next step successfully. I’m not saying that this has been the most negative year of my life, but it’s been the year when I’ve constantly been working hard without a breath, or so it feels. To make things easy to understand. Here are 2 lists:

Negative aspects of the past school year:

• doing progressively worse in Bib. Hebrew and having to find additional support in order to succeed
• being sick for 7 of the 9 months of the school year with a sinus infection or related yuckiness
• being friend dumped
• discovering that even though my lease is supposed to go through Aug. 31, that I would be kicked out on June 14 for ADA renovations

Positive aspects of past school year:

• initially making/enjoying really amazing friendships
• meeting really fun, interesting people that I’m happy to count as both friends and really cool acquaintances
• taking interesting and challenging courses, even if sometimes it made me feel like drowning
• living in Chicago again, with all its neighborhoods, parks, etc.
• teaching an awesome religious school class with a wonderful boss

Obviously, the good outweighs the bad. And I had wonderful experiences even when there was negative things happening in my life. Also, these negative experiences help me to grow and become an even better person (cheesy? yes.) I mean, the sick part was just annoying because it affected my energy level which, in turn, affected my school-work time.  The friend stuff was the worst, and what I will not talk about on this blog–at least for several years. But, I learned important lessons from this experience about human nature.

The positive things were all so great. I have loved the spontaneous conversation with my classmates at the Div school that happen at the coffeeshop, the lounge, the study room and in the halls. Even though there is a tough competitive edge (which I complain about) here, cool people do exist! And being back in the city has been great. I love going to different neighborhoods for food, coffee, and people-watching. Hyde Park, itself, is a nice place to live. It is quiet and green–qualities I appreciate. One added benefit of returning to Chicago is the existence of my Smith friends, who brough a degree of normalcy and that lovely feeling of “old friends” to a new life chapter.

I think that, for me, the transition from the “working” world back to academia was tough. Hopefully, next year will be easier. I had to relearn how to study, how to write papers, how to read.  Being out of school, though, for 4 years was beneficial. Life experience makes me a better and more motivated student.

I’m glad that I’m here and proud of the progress I’ve made. And I can’t wait to have some time off to rest before saddling up again at the end of September!

A little reprieve

I went home to Madison on Thursday afternoon. It was planned. My parents are out of town and my sister has the dog and house to herself. So I went to join her. It was just relaxing to leave Hyde Park and my apartment with all its inherent tensions (piles of books, the boxes waiting to be packed, the papers that need to be written) behind and drive the 3 hours.

I was joyously welcomed home by the house pooch. And we took ourselves and the puppy to Wingra Park for dinner. We picnicked facing the lake and the trees. So so nice. Afterwards we took the puppy on a stroll on Monroe street (not the business district part) for his walk.

Friday, after my sister went to work, I read for paper-preparation. But, we didn’t read in the library, the apartment, a coffee-shop, or the div school reading room. I read on the screened porch in the perfect sunny weather.  I was also able to take a short break (love the lack of traffic in Madison! and the closeness of things) to buy some moving supplies and walk the dog. After work, we put together a quick picnic and headed to the union to sit by the lake and listen to Jazz Fest until the sunset.

And now, I’m back in Hyde Park with all its inherent tensions and expectations. One week to go. I move out a week from Sunday and then this year will finally be over.

knowing that spring is here

I wish that I had a digital camera. I promise to either borrow or buy one for my time in Israel. I know that spring is here because the view outside my window is no longer of a plastic bag wound around a high branch of a tree and a clear sight of the parking lot. Instead, it’s images of that springy green color–of leaves. Lots of leaves. And no clear view of the parking lot. I can see the nearly flourescent green of the moss under my window that slowly merges with regular grass halfway down the parking lot length (to the side). I see rain now and often. Here in the upper midwest, we’ve been experiencing lots of rain. But, then there is a day like yesterday. Where I rode my bike to school for the first time this spring (I was slow in filling my tires). And the sky was perfectly blue and the temperature was perfectly just under 70 degrees. They had a bbq for graduate students and when I walked up to the lawn where it was being held, seeking out my friend, I saw so many people all over the lawn sprawling nearly down to the sidewalk. It began at 4, and the food was gone before I got there, at 5:30. We ate on a restaurant patio instead.

it was the funnest day

Yesterday, although I was weighted down with an allergy headache, was a good day. Not the best day ever. But a good day.

Firstly, I stunned my seminar class with my opinion of Edward Said’s article reconsidering Orientalism (not it’s proper title) by announcing that it was lame. I feel embarrassed of course, but my brain did not articulate my feelings in an intellectual way. Luckily, I will be meeting with this professor this afternoon and can apologize for my inarticulate, colloquial response. Although, it conveys my immediate feelings. Why write an article of reconsideration where you aren’t going to actually say anything? What a waste.

The fun part of the day was the workshop I attended with my class. We had had a cancelled class on Wednesday so that we could write a review of this book. Which was interesting and written extremely well. So well written that I included a paragraph on style, which was most likely unnecessary. I cannot escape my “writerly” instincts. Anyway, we sat down for an hour and half of conversation with Professor Cummings. Who was so interesting and nice. The coolest part was her admitting her mistakes in writing the book, which we (my classmates and I) had noticed and wondered about. It is honorable and honest to react in such an agreeable way. The whole conversation was fascinating. The book is about Catholic women in the progressive era. I don’t know much about Catholics in general. So, the book was a whole new world, for me.

The best part of the evening was talking to my fellow classmates. This class Women in American Religious History is notable at the Div school for its all-female class. It’s notable to me, at least, and makes things so much better. The women in this class are so engaging and interesting. I truly enjoy our class and I had a wonderful time last night, too.