Grave’s Disease Update

Here is  the promised Graves Disease update. The last time I posted about Graves Disease was just after I was diagnosed in June. You can find that post here.

The medical aspect:

Today I went to my second Endocrinologist appointment at University of Chicago Medical Center. When I came back from Israel, my internist in Madison recommended that I start seeing an endocrinologist in Chicago, because of all the bloodwork that is needed to manage Graves.  So, in September, I met with the Endo Dr. Before meeting with her, I was all prepared (mentally at least) to consider the prospect of Radioactive Iodine Therapy. If this therapy was going to be done, it needed to be done before school started, since it really will put your body back into hyperthyroidism and afterwards, into hypothyroidism. Since, Graves Disease made me feel completely mentally dysfunctional I didn’t want that to hang over my last year at University of Chicago. But, I haven’t had the therapy. In fact, the endocrinologist was not enthusiastic about trying the therapy as a first option.

The first thing the endo doctor wanted to try was to slowly lower my does of methimazole, which is a thyroid production blocker. In fact, she wants to see that I can be either stabilized at the lowest possible dose of the medication or be put into remission. If I am able to reduce my medication to that level (it will be reduced a little bit every 2 months, after checking my thyroid levels), then I don’t have to have the therapy. At my first appointment, my levels were still not right, and I was told to continue on my initial dosage. I was told to go off the beta blocker, which was preventing the spread of the thyroid hormones into my tissue AND keeping the adrenaline that the thyroid creates from making my heart pump like I was running a marathon ALL the time.  Going off the beta blocker was fine, and I have suffered no ill effects. During my visit today, I was told that I can reduce my dosage (of the methimazole) by half a pill. I will go back into the doctor’s office the first week in January, I’ll let you know what happens. This slow reduction will take (if successful) about 18 months.

The psychological aspect:

I feel so much better than I did last winter and spring. I have energy until much later at night, and can focus much much better. I am beginning to get better grades in my classes, too. I wrote a paper and turned it in last week. This was the first paper that I got back since last fall that didn’t have the words “this paper is disorganized” in the comments. That is a major positive change.

While I feel better, the idea that I have an auto-immune disease has taken some getting used to. It was such a crazy, quick diagnosis story, too. And having to get diagnosed, scanned, and medicated before the trip to Israel made my head spin. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I spent most of the time I was in Israel getting used to the idea instead of enjoying Israel. I know that my body was getting used to the medicine. It is said that it takes about 6 weeks for your body to adjust to new hormone levels. Which was about the whole time I was in Israel. The implications of the diagnosis are huge to me. Even though allergies were a pre-existing condition, they were manageable, even with a rider. But, with the way insurance is now, there is no way I would even be able to buy private affordable health insurance. (so call your congress representatives and ask them to support the public option!) Even now, on our mediocre insurance plan at school, I have a lot of medical bills to pay. I was not prepared for these new bills, which are replacing fun in the budget.  The cost of blood tests and doctor’s visits is deep, especially to a grad student. This disease has increased the responsibility I have to myself. I’m grateful, though, that I was diagnosed this last June and that this disease, while costly and annoying, is at least livable and manageable.

 

Random updates

I was going to load up a “Grave’s Disease Update” but I think I’ll wait. Instead, here’s a bullet pointed list of random updates

1. I will be seeing the doctor for my Grave’s Disease the first week in November. At that time, I’ll do a big post about what’s been going on since June.

2. School is ending its fourth week. I can’t believe it. It is hard, of course. I have some interesting classes and thankfully, I like Modern Hebrew much much better than Biblical.

3. The leaves in Hyde Park have turned. I took on campus pictures today. I’ll try to upload them tomorrow. It’s awfully pretty!

4. I’m curious as to why the eggplant in my green curry (homemade) turned blue-ish after being cooked.

5. I really like my work study job. I work as an assistant to the Public Relations person. The variety of the work is enjoyable and ranges from the mundane (postering, counting postcards) to the interesting (writing first drafts of press releases, researching program notes for PR purposes). But it had definitely affected my school work time. I’m still struggling to maintain a balance.

6. Although I was supposed to have this “horrible, no good, very bad” class of 8th graders this year (at religious school) I’m actually enjoying them–for the most part. And I love the curriculum. Learning about being Jewish through examining other denominations and religions is really fun.

Back in Madison

I have safely arrived in Madison. I had a relatively horrible flight with a baby that cried nonstop for over four hours and a seatmate that had boundary issues (as in crossing boundaries) who liked to share my foot room and elbowed me countless times. But I survived and emerged unslept and jetlagged. I have been busy since I arrived yesterday: sleeping and getting all sorts of extra puppy cuddles in. Riley napped with me in the afternoon.

And last night, in an effort to combat jet lag and go to bed at a “normal” time, my sister and I went out for Mexican food (yum!) and to Madison Pride (now called something like Capitol Pridefest) to watch the God-dess and She show. Which was fabulous. Today we return, if the weather cooperates, for the parade and then some drag queen shows.

It’s good to be home.

Being in Jerusalem: a positive

One of of the best parts of the “Jerusalem experience” is the plethora of prayer options, even just in the German Colony. I’ve tried to take advantage of doing some shul shopping while here. I used to do more shul shopping in Chicago, but only when I had parterns-in-crime. After my co-workers moved away, that stopped.

But here, lots of people are interested in trying out new things. I was disappointed because I wanted to check out the “alternative” minyan, Kedem. But, I got sick and missed the last Saturday morning service. I have checked out the Progressive synagogue, but both experiences have been unusual, so I’m going again tonight. (once I was sick and once was the Gan dedication).

I’ve also attended the Reconstructionist Minyan, which is monthly. That was a really nice experience, especially after feeling fish-out-of-the-water experiences at Pardes where it is normatively “halakhic”. And then, for erev Tish b’av I attended a renewal service. The egalitarian options I haven’t explored are “conservative” or masorti.

I feel privileged to have these opportunities. And, if there’s something I’ll miss about Jerusalem, it would be the access to these explorations–with buddies!

Friday walk

Friday is a day without school. So, I decided that I should do some sort of sight-seeing, even if it wasn’t that far out of my neighborhood–the German colony–or that hardcore. So, after a lovely morning of sleeping in, I ventured forth. Typical of my personality, I search out the green spaces first. I planned to walk to Liberty Bell park which is kind of at the end of German Colony. Then I planned to cross the street and visit the park on the other side (all part of the Jerusalem garden system). This park borders Yemin Moshe, an old neighborhood just outside the old city walls. The walk would be both historic and picturesque. Friday was incredibly relaxing, and after this walk, a nap, and some more internet, I joined fellow Pardes summer students for shabbat services and dinner at school. A few pictures follow (of the walk).

more photos can be found in my flickr photo stream

Diagnosis: Grave’s Disease or make sure you get those blood tests at your yearly!

In May, when I went to the U of C Student Care Center for my yearly appt. (which was about 6 months late), the physician’s assistant was shocked that I asked for a lipids screening, a ths (thyroid level) test, and a urinalysis. I was shocked because she told me I had short little legs. About a week and a half ago, as I mentioned during my moving tales story, I received a phone call from this PA telling me that my thryoid levels were wacky. During that phone call, she insisted that I get this taken care of before my trip to Israel (I leave on Saturday).

I asked if it could wait until August, and was told no. I spent Friday finding a doctor within my PPO network who would be willing to see me, even if that dr. wasn’t my primary care doctor. Thankfully, the receptionist and the nurses were lovely and tracked someone down.

Last Wednesday, I went to the doctor. She said that I had hyperthyroidism.  I could have this condition from a couple different other conditions, including cancer. I had a blood test, an EKG, and was immediately put on Beta blockers. My heart rate has been really fast for several years, but no physician has seemed worried. (a year and a half ago, my thyroid levels were normal). I was very nervous about having possible tumors in my thryoid, and was dreading the scan. However, on Tuesday, when I had the scan (after swallowing a radioactive iodine gel-cap!) my thryoid looked perfect–as in no tumors. Whew. However when they did the test to see how much iodine was in my body, it was over the “normal” amount, so I had to go back and get another “uptake” today.

The doctor’s office called today and confirmed: I have Grave’s Disease. I will be taking medicine for the rest of my life. When I get back from Israel, I will probably take a treatment of radioactive iodine, which will deactivate my thyroid. Then, I’ll be on synthetic thyroid treatment. This is a hereditary disease. My maternal relatives have thyroid problems and one has the disease as well. People, like me, with food and pollen allergies have a tendency to get the disease. AND the sulfa antibiotics I was on this winter probably hastened its onset.

As my friends and family know, this has been an incredibly rough year. I was sick for most of it. And I’ve never felt 100%. Now, I know why. I may have acted unlike myself–because Grave’s Disease causes anxiety, depression, and distractibility. All of which I’ve had more severely than ever before. And of course, those of you that have been close to me know that I’ve been tired all of the time. My schoolwork has also suffered–I thought I was just no longer smart! But, this disease causes brain disorganization, memory problems, etc. People can even be falsely mis-diagnosed with dislexia with this disease! So, if I’ve been acting like a freak, I apologize.

I’m really looking forward to remembering what it feels like to feel “normal.” I look forward to having energy and focus again. Although this whole experience has been frightening and annoying, I’m glad that it was caught now, instead of through a heart issue or other severe consequences. So, just a reminder, especially to women: when you get your physical  get a full bloodwork too!

Moving Tales Part I

As has been mentioned previously, I was kicked out of my apartment, owned by U of C housing, because they wanted to ADA renovations in my tower and 1 or 2 others in the building. Across their buildings, there will be 40 more ADA accessible apartments overall. My friends speculate that U of C was found out regarding their lack of accomodations, because renovations have been occurring campus-wide. This move-out date was last Sunday, which was incredibly inconvenient. I still am not done with papers and had to suspend the process to move. It was incredibly stressful. When I moved nto my apartment initially, I had planned on staying for 2 years. It was perfect for me. I loved it. Below is a narration of the highlights of my moving experience.

Part I

I arranged for my friend Sarah, who works as a night nurse, to come over on Friday to help pack my kitchen. I planned on taking a break from writing/paper prep. Sarah arrived without trouble, and we walked over to the Nile for lunch. On our way over, we encountered a postal carrier. She greeted us with a hearty good morning (it was afternoon) and we responded in kind. And then she began asking us how we were. We responded affirmatively. Then, she asked if we would mind pushing her mail cart down to the next alley, the one with the bushes. An odd request, but I couldn’t refuse. I pushed the mail cart, with some mail still in it, to the alley and we went on our merry way. I do realize that this was illegal, but we didn’t ask for the, ahem, experience.

While at the Nile, where we ran into our friend E (hi E!) and her family (including her graduating from undergrad brother), I received a phone call. The caller was the nurse practioner I has seen for my yearly check-up 3ish weeks before. She asked if it was a good time, I decided it was ok because I had packing to do. And so, I discovered during that phone call that my thyroid levels were irregular. She wanted me to see someone ASAP. I asked if it could wait until after my trip to Israel, but she said no and sent my labs to Madison. I was not concerned, however while Sarah (thank you!) put together boxes and helped me pack my kitchen up I also spent a good deal of time on the phone trying to find a doctor within my PPO that would see me, even if I wasn’t there regular patient. Luckily it turned out alright, and the kind receptionist and nurses at a particular clinic in Madison were able to find me an opentime slot.

To be continued, please see Part II

First Year of Grad School Redux

I’m in the throes of Week 11: finals week. One paper is turned in, another in the works. I will still be working on a paper when I go home. That’s just the way it is, even if I pride myself on getting things done. Some things just take longer to be done than others–and it’s usually professor-sanctioned.

This post is a sort of evaluation of this year. I will also write a post about what I’ve learned this year. But that will come later.

This experience has been one of the most difficult of my life. One of the hardest parts of the experience is always feeling not-smart, and definitely lesser than classmates (especially the phd students). I haven’t felt the pure, unadulterated joy of success yet.  Instead, it’s this grinding process of “working hard” in order to get to the next step successfully. I’m not saying that this has been the most negative year of my life, but it’s been the year when I’ve constantly been working hard without a breath, or so it feels. To make things easy to understand. Here are 2 lists:

Negative aspects of the past school year:

• doing progressively worse in Bib. Hebrew and having to find additional support in order to succeed
• being sick for 7 of the 9 months of the school year with a sinus infection or related yuckiness
• being friend dumped
• discovering that even though my lease is supposed to go through Aug. 31, that I would be kicked out on June 14 for ADA renovations

Positive aspects of past school year:

• initially making/enjoying really amazing friendships
• meeting really fun, interesting people that I’m happy to count as both friends and really cool acquaintances
• taking interesting and challenging courses, even if sometimes it made me feel like drowning
• living in Chicago again, with all its neighborhoods, parks, etc.
• teaching an awesome religious school class with a wonderful boss

Obviously, the good outweighs the bad. And I had wonderful experiences even when there was negative things happening in my life. Also, these negative experiences help me to grow and become an even better person (cheesy? yes.) I mean, the sick part was just annoying because it affected my energy level which, in turn, affected my school-work time.  The friend stuff was the worst, and what I will not talk about on this blog–at least for several years. But, I learned important lessons from this experience about human nature.

The positive things were all so great. I have loved the spontaneous conversation with my classmates at the Div school that happen at the coffeeshop, the lounge, the study room and in the halls. Even though there is a tough competitive edge (which I complain about) here, cool people do exist! And being back in the city has been great. I love going to different neighborhoods for food, coffee, and people-watching. Hyde Park, itself, is a nice place to live. It is quiet and green–qualities I appreciate. One added benefit of returning to Chicago is the existence of my Smith friends, who brough a degree of normalcy and that lovely feeling of “old friends” to a new life chapter.

I think that, for me, the transition from the “working” world back to academia was tough. Hopefully, next year will be easier. I had to relearn how to study, how to write papers, how to read.  Being out of school, though, for 4 years was beneficial. Life experience makes me a better and more motivated student.

I’m glad that I’m here and proud of the progress I’ve made. And I can’t wait to have some time off to rest before saddling up again at the end of September!

Two strange things I’ve seen lately

1. This last Saturday was another Andersonville today. So nice. We hung out in Kopi Cafe (again, but I was hanging out with a different person). The couple that sat down near us were typical, old school hippies in tie-dye. They were in their 50s probably. The strangest sight though, was that they had a teddy bear with them. First the woman had it sitting on her lap, and it switched and sat in the man’s for a while.

2. I took an evening walk around the block tonight. I heard some hip hop flying by, which is strange because there wasn’t a car. I looked up. There was a chicago cop on a bike (doing bike patrol) with speakers on his bike, singing along to the song.

What am I learning in school?

One of my final papers this quarter will be about Rose Pastor Stokes.  In college, I spent spring semester doing an independent study (among my other classes). At first it was about how the different waves of Jewish immigrants affected U.S. politics. But it evolved into a series of shorter papers on various Jewish immigrant women who were players in the new socialist and communist parties in the U.S. I met Rose Pastor Stokes there. I was fascinated. Most of the women I learned about had stayed within their communities for marriage. Situating themselves for most of their lives on the Lower East Side in NYC. However, Rose Pastor Stokes married a Protestant philanthropist that ran a settlement house. It was apparent that she wanted to become truly American and her marriage into this WASP family pushed her even further. Eventually, the marriage dissolved and as this happened she was drawn more and more to the left, eventually becoming one of the founding members of the American commmunist party.

I am thrilled to have found her papers on microfilm. So, I will be spending a lot of time staring at little things when they arrive from interlibrary loan. I will also be looking at her unfinished autobiography.

My research question is about her Jewish identity. In a lot of these accounts of activists, even though they identify as Jewish, they don’t mention much. So, I want to look into that question of how she acted Jewishly. Did she ever mention going to synagogue? did she celebrate holidays? etc.